The Sewing Room - July 23, 2011

Now I love to garden but what can a gardener do with the heat index around 124 degrees or so…..I’ll tell you what, clean up the messiest room in the house, that’s what fellow gardeners. Every house has one, its called the storage room or your pesky little sister’s old room before she left home and married Claude the Barber or Mitch the Pyramid scheme salesman. Some folks call it the “craft room” or as in our case here at the Daniels household we call it the “sewing room”. Now I don’t sew, my mother doesn’t sew, well not enough anymore to be called a sew-ess or seamstress or well just get it through your heads fellow gardeners, my mom doesn’t sew anymore and that’s that and don’t ask me about it anymore……:-)

So that only leaves my wife, Linda and Linda? She’s one heck of a seamstress, she can sew the ears on a Billy Goat if she has too, but you might want to give her a few days warning before you ask her to do that, cause you need special thread to sew up a Billy Goat’s ears, or that’s what I always heard……:-) So its so darn hot outside that there ain’t even a bird in sight, not even at the full to the brim bird baths or the fountain. So that tells me that staying inside yesterday was just a peachy idea. Now back to the sewing room aka storage room, aka craft room, aka whatever mother can sneak in there behind Linda’s back room, like it’s her house or something. My mother still thinks this is her house just cause she’s lived here for over 50 years or so. Well I got news for her, she turned the house over to me legally last year so this ain’t her house anymore and by gosh I want her to cease and desist sneaking her old worn out pocketbooks and old worn out hot and steamy Danielle Steel books into Linda’s sewing room.

She’s my mother, I love her, I respect her, but she’s as sneaky as they come….One more old pair of shoes that should’ve been given away 20 years ago turns up in the closet of the sewing room and out she goes. I’ll make her move in with my aggravating, self-centered, obnoxious, full of himself little brother Ralph, then she’ll be sorry she ever tried to hide a bag of old girdles behind the door of Linda’s sewing room……..:-)

Well I forgot to mention one little thing. And in the interest of full disclosure, cause you know how honest, up front I am, not one to turn the facts in such a way to make me look better. No, I think we can all agree when it comes to absolute honesty fellow gardeners you can count on me…..Fellow gardeners? You still there?  “Paul From Alabama, would you please for God’s sake get on with this little story and quit wasting your time trying to convince us of your honesty and truthfulness, I mean we know you’re really the biggest liar ever, how do we know that? You tell us as much every other little story you write”…….:-) That hurt fellow gardeners, it really did…….:-)

OK but as usual fellow gardeners just like my wife, my mother, my grandmother, my father, my grandmother and my pain in the posterior Aunt Myrtle, you’re exactly right. I am the biggies liar ever but I’m telling the truth today. And how do you know its the truth? Easy fellow gardeners, I just told you it was……:-) Here’s the real truth and I’m ashamed to even tell you but at the same time I’m shipping my mother off to live with my obnoxious little brother Ralph for stashing bags of empty plastic bags from Lively’s FoodWorld, bags of old bras and girdles, out of date magazines, and every copy of every pot boiling, steamy, sex filled book Danielle Steel every wrote, somewhere, someplace in Linda’s sewing room. Well as I’m throwing my mother out on her duff for stashing all those things, or as I call it, crimes against Linda’s sewing room, guess what I’m doing even as we speak?

Yep, you got it fellow gardeners. I’m turning Linda’s sewing room into a propagations station, hobby greenhouse, an over wintering area for annuals of every kind and description. And I’ll do this before Linda knows a thing about it just as soon as I throw out those bras and griddles from the 1940′s that belonged to my dearly departed mother, departed to live with my big pain in the posterior little brother Ralph. And finally, finally I’ll have my own propagation room, hobby greenhouse, and over wintering storage area for plants. And what about the room being only and exclusively to be used for my talented and accomplished seamstress and wife Linda as her own personal sewing room? I suggest she try to sew in the room where Mother’s going to be staying in now with my obnoxious little brother’s Ralph, Staying in his luxurious condominium in the Virginian Highland area of Hot-lanta……:-) You know what he has in his luxurious condominium? A room specifically devoted to all his books about history and politics, USA history and politics, world history and politics, biographies, table top picture books of the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World, all kinda of books. He’s got one of the best personal home libraries in the greater Hot-lanta area. And the way its laid out, the design, the size of the room, the beautiful custom made built in book shelves, all of that. All of that would make a great room for me to use just raise little seedling of coneflowers (echinacea purpurea), foxgloves (digitalis) and Larkspur….over winter different varieties of agapanthus and dahlias……

But where will mother stay then? She’ll have lost her room at Ralph’s. What about my obnoxious little brother Ralph’s library? Well mother can move in with my little sister Robyn in Tuscaloosa and Ralph can put all his books into Robyn’s garage she ain’t using right now for anything. But wait a minute fellow gardeners, may I ask you a quick question? “Sure Paul From Alabama, if you’ll wind up this little overly long story about what we don’t even know yet, we’ll answer anything you ask, just get it over with already”…….Thanks fellow gardeners I knew I could count on your understanding and patience……:-) You see I’m thinking that  the garage at Robyn’s that’s she not using now and is piled up with Ralph’s wonderful collection of history books and books about politics right now would make a great room use for propagation of shrubs and roses only.

Think of it, a whole big garage at my littles sister Robyn’s devoted to propagation of hundreds of different varieties of roses, old fashioned roses. ‘Zephrine Drouin, ‘Sombreuil’, ‘Lamarque’, ‘Madame Alfred Carriere’ and one of my favorites, not only to grow and enjoy but just to say the name over and over again…..’Souvenir de la Malmaison’……..Say it again fellow gardeners, ‘Souvenir de la Malmaison’. I ain’t too thrilled with the French people, French government or France in particular and I ain’t exactly overcome with joy at French cooking either.  But the light pink, oh so fragrant, oh so beautiful ‘Souvenir de la Malmaison’ Bourbon rose, well it’s so wonderful I can almost forgive the French for giving us escargot as something you’re supposed to eat, but I said almost forgive, not forgive……and like the Daughters of the Confederacy, I may forgive but I ain’t “forgetting” and I ain’t and can’t seem to forget or get escargot, them stinking, slimy French snails out of my mind……:-)

Paul From Alabama

The comments below were transferred from my “old” blog as was the little  story above with the original  date of the story as shown.

Those women around your house are gonna get you for this one! Don agreed about the special thread for the goat’s ears. He said they also require difficult if not impossible to find buttons.
Saturday, July 23, 2011 - 09:21 AM
At first glance I thought we were on the same page with the sewing room.  Because of the extreme heat and drought we are having here in Texas, I too have been working on my sewing room this week.  As a result I got all fired up and creative and have been sewing up a storm.  Now, let me tell you one thing for sure, if ANYBODY ever touches my things in my sewing room, well, we just won’t go there.  Got it, Paul from Alabama?   humph
Saturday, July 23, 2011 - 11:03 AM
Go to Birmingham or someplace that has a Harbor Freight and buy yourself a 10×12 polycarbonate greenhouse when they go on sale. Then search Garden Web for how to reinforce the thing where it will withstand a tornado. Plants need to be out in the sunshine, not cooped up in a sewing room. If a greenhouse is too ambitious, then get a wheeled kitchen cart so you can trundle plants and cuttings ot of the tool shed to the sunshine.
Saturday, July 23, 2011 - 02:54 PM
@Vickie, they already “got” me but I don’t care, I like it…….:-)@Lou, I got it, over and out……:-)

@ Nell Jean, If I listened to you and all your know it all ideas I’d have a great propagation system that really works. So just let me tell you Mrs. Know It All just what I’m planning to do now…….Just what you suggested……:-) and thanks again so much, you’re a life saver and a good friend, thanks.

Saturday, July 23, 2011 - 04:10 PM
You can grow a lot of cuttings on a little counter in the laundry room and keep a lot of forced bulbs in the sink. I rooted a bunch of gardenia cuttings in a bottle of water in the kitchen window before I got smarter and just put them in pots of soil outside.Most folks just call me by my first name, Miss Prissy.

Saturday, July 23, 2011 - 06:31 PM
Paul from Alabama you are toosweet and I just looove ypur stories and your secret plans for the sewing room
Sunday, July 24, 2011 - 09:08 PM
@Nell_Jean, Well I’m not most folks, but I’m going to call you whatever you want me to call you and Miss Prissy sounds fine to me, so Miss Prissy it is and will be forever or until such time as you tell me otherwise. But I do so hope you aren’t going to be like that rock singer, Prince. who changes his name about every time he comes out with another CD. But if Prince can be “X” one day and Prince the next, Nell_Jean can be Miss Prissy today, tomorrow and forever……..:-)@Judy I so glad you enjoy the stories and as far as the “secret” plans go for the sewing room, well please from now on try not to refer to them as “secret”, I prefer “sneaky”……..:-)

Tuesday, July 26, 2011 - 06:09 AM

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